Until this week, I am so confused about my marks and this course. I start to be worried that I am gonna fail it. However, I haven’t come to led discussion for a while. This Tuesday, I took part in one of them, and the topic was “ Would you consider the opinion of your parents before marriage (or a serious relationship) if they strongly disagree with your choice of partner? ” All of the 4 leaders and 4 guests were Asian as Korean, Chinese and Vietnamese. We had 2 different and opposite opinions. Some of the guys said they would still keep their relationship because they had to decide their lives themselves, not their parents. In addition, they thought their parents couldn’t understand their partners well as they did. Moreover, for them, to find another partner as good and accordant as the temporary partner was impossible. However, most of the girls gave an idea that marriage was something much complicated and serious than love. Because their partners and their family would become relatives after their weddings. Furthermore, parents were more experienced and always wanted the best things for their daughters/sons. If they disagreed with our partners, they would really have appropriate reasons. That’s why the girls trusted their parents than themselves. They would try to persuade their parents first. Then, if they still disagreed, some girls would stop their relationship and follow what their parents chose. In my opinion, I think nearly the same way as these girls. However, in that case, I will consider my parents’ opinions very carefully. After that, if I really understand and think they are right, I will stop my relationship. If not, I will ask my boy friend to come and prove them that he is a good guy. I believe he will be fine. Actually, my present boyfriend and I did the same way, and we got over that problem. Now, my parents really like him very much. He makes me really happy about that, and I hope we will get along.
During this discussion, I felt very relaxative and interested. That's why I like to come to led discussions.
1 comment:
Hi Nguyen,
Your discussion is interesting to me because of the close relationship that the women feel to their parents. In some ways, I'm more like the guys. I want to make my own decision even if it's wrong because I want to be happy with my partner. My mother's choices were not particularly like mine. I realize that after marriage it will be important to have a good relationship with inlaws, and it is often the woman who is forced to compromise. Also, in North American culture, we are not as dominated by our parents or our husband's parents. We must create our own lives. So it's different and of course, different families have different views and arrangements - here included.
Cheers,
Lynne
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